Sperming Whale Humping Back
by CompletelyCreativeUsername
Summary: A Lonely Whale Dean Stumbles across a just-as-lonely Whale Castiel. Pure Crack, like seriously this is pretty much the /core/ of crack fics... Have fun with it, we sure had fun writing it.


**[A/N]: Hello! Okay, like I said in the summary... This is literally the crackiest fic I have ever gone to write. Like, this was written at 1:30 AM in a skype chat with my friends Bop and Death... We SERIOUSLY have no fucking clue just how it got like this, but... this is PURE crack. Absolute, good to the last sniff, pure crack fic. It's not edited (once again straight up copy and pasted from a skype convo), not grammatically correct... So have fun cringing and laughing at all the sea puns and bad smut.**

Huntback Whalechester was spending a peaceful sea afternoon racing through the currents of the Altantic ocean. He was more than bored - BlobbyWhale had taken his brother, /the killerwhale, known for his /killer/ whale dick, on a hunt for krill, leaving him alone to roam the waters of the earth. He was lonely, and, not going to lie... His Giant Whale Dick was feeling... A bit lonely, too. So it only made sense as he flipped his massive fins, that he was also listening intently for any other whale in earshot - which was quite far.

He had almost given up on his lonely search when he suddenly heard a low, raspy song echo from miles away. It was a familiar call... Where had the Huntback heard it before?

He turned his whale head towards the sound, and his heart suddenly skipped a beat as he recognized the just-as-horny mating call - It was Spermstiel... He always knew how to put the /sperm/ in "Sperm Whale"

"Whalechester... I can hear your salty cries" suddenly, as if he had teleported, Spermstiel was right behind Huntback, and his /spermwhale/

was almost as long as the sea-tie around his whale-neck.

Taking in the sight of Spermstiel, Whalechester had to hold all of his whale power to not burst his blowhole right there and then.

Spermstiel swam forward steadily, a hungry look in his beady spermwhale eyes, and lunged himself onto Huntback.

"What species are you, Whalechester?" A raspy song rang in the Huntback's Ear. The whale arched his back involuntarily and shuddered, causing ripples to shimmer through the surrounding water.

"H-humpback..." He growled, and felt the pure white sea-mammal shudder in what he thought was laughter - but of course it wasn't. Whales don't laugh, stupid.

"My favorite type..." He growled, causing the Huntback to whine. "And, Whalechester... What species... Am /i/?"

"Sper...Sperm whale..." The larger whale felt him press up harder again him - it didn't even feel like water could get in between them. "Well then... Wouldn't it be appropriate for this Sperm Whale... To Hump Back?"

"Wait what?" whaleshester sang nervously

"I want to have nasty whale sex with you. So colonies miles away can hear us." Spermstiel sang seductively.

"Those schools of fish are gonna see a whole new way of... sticking together."

"They'll learn something new and exciting too" Spermstiel sang in a whisper.

"BOOOOAWOOAAWOWOAOR" Cas suddenly cried, as he pushed hard into dean.

The mating had begun - there was no going back now.

"BOOOOAWOOAAWOWOAOR" Whalechester sang as Spermstiel started making his whale parts ache.

"Are you ready... Are you READY TO SEE WHAT A SPERM WHALE'S SPERM CAN BRING"

Whalechester cried back, "MMWWOWOOAAOAAHAAAHHH, I CAN'T HELP BUT HUMP BACK"

Whalechester was not going down easily, he thrust his whole body up and slapped his fins back against spermstiel. Spemstiel let out a slow rumbling moan before promptly blowing bubbles into whalechesters

"i... I..."

"i'm gOING TO BLOWWWWW!"

Whalechester then started to convulse and shudder and blew emense air out of his blow hole and a shit ton of whale sperm out his giant

They both rose to the surface as their orgasms reached their peak and with a "PFFFFFT" blew their spouts high into the crisp ocean breeze.

Spermstiel slowed his monster pace and backed away... probably with some difficulty. Cause whales can't swim badkwards, duh. Stupid.

"I think you got the hang of what a sperm whale can bring... You live up quite well to your species name too, /hump back/."

He winked his beady Spermwhale eye at the larger Whale, and just like that, his salty song was gone.

From then on, Huntback Whalechester was never lonely, and never /alone/ after that day - he always had a special Sperm Whale to Hump Back onto.


End file.
